Below is the feedback I received after a local Director gave feedback and critical criticism of the script:
1. Wide shot - a lot of detail in action block for one shot. Choose carefully when technical camera instructions given.
2. Show don’t tell. In first action block, showing boxes is better than telling us that
3. “Light fading” - light grows in morning.
4. Zoom
5. Explanations are really nice and gives director alot of detail (art director)
6. Zoom in or out... or is it a tracking shot that follows the subject?
7. SFX bedside alarm: include it in the main action block and capitalise.
8. Character description: give clues to what types of person they are.
9. Read script out loud, make amendments and reflect.
In the final Script 5 Draft I have included below is all the feedback imbedded into this script, I have worked on each critical criticism instructed and feel I have much improved my script.
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